What You Missed, 5/1/12: Raising a Glass for the Working Class, HABITS, TSEPESCH, BOORS

Yesterday, while you were busy watching other people protest for their economic rights on CNN, Slabtown was celebrating May Day in its own not-so-quiet way with  a thrash-doom-hardcore show here with net sales going to staff. (I've written about the whole net-to-staff thing before, here, so I'll just give you the spoiler and say that, although it wasn't a banner day financially, staff still walked away with over $500 in bonuses. Thank you to everyone who came in.) If you did make it in, you didn't get to see me scrubbing the floors in a Mr Pennybags costume, but you did get to see me in one of my less-than-stellar moments...

THE BOORS were up first. Absolute thrash, spastic, as anarchic as a band should be on May Day. Their singer was throwing his body around stage, biting through cans, tying the mic cable around his neck. All good fun. But about four songs in, he broke one of our mic stands and immediately followed the move by completing a flip onstage that landed him on top of the mic stand for the kick drum, snapping the top off. I got pissed. All I could think about was that these guys weren't going to pay for that shit, and I was gonna get screwed and have to cough up cash to the guy we rent our sound system from.

Let me point out my own stupidity. God, where do I start...

Number one, money is a stupid reason to get angry. Period.

Number two, anyone who ever saw me perform with LEGACY OF BRUTALITY knows I have lost any right to bitch about someone breaking a mic stand or two. I'm not sure we ever played a show that didn't include tearing clothing, setting things on fire, knocking over equipment, breaking mics, snapping stands, kicking monitors into the crowd, or at the very least making someone bleed. Hypocrisy.

Number two-point-five, I love a band that gets so into their music that they lose their shit. What? Then I'm going to whine at them for "going too far?"

Number three, the most important one. I totally came at THE BOORS as if they were trying to get off without paying for it. From the moment I approached them after their set, they were willing to do what they could to make it right, but in my anger, nothing was good enough.

Anyway, I finally grabbed a friend of mine and asked him to talk to the band about getting the stands fixed. I realized that I was worked up over stupid shit and figured I'd just keep coming across like an asshole if I kept talking. Like I said, they were totally willing to take care of it. Let me make this apology public. Sorry for being an uptight, angry jerk last night. Thank you for putting yr all into yr set, even though you were playing to a crowd of about forty instead of a packed house.

I was still coming down from my tantrum when TSEPESCH took the stage. I'm not sure most people would call their doom sludge relaxing, per se, but it did the trick for me. If you haven't seen TSEPESCH yet, go check them out, if just for their stage show--a giant of a man on bass dressed as Jesus risen from the tomb, the rest of the band dressed in under-stated black, bottles of Sutter's Home red poured into what appeared to be a bull's horn and passed among the band and then the audience. I have know idea what the word tsepesch means, but I have the feeling I took part in some dark ritual with them last night, even though I didn't touch the wine.

As almost always happens for me with headlining bands at Slabtown, I missed the opening segment of THE HABITS' set because I was closing out the door till, but what I was able to catch was pretty effin' bad ass. I'd never seen them before and was expecting something slower and heavier than the driving, crushing hardcore they put out. Their singer, Joe, is another amazing front man, a guy who seems to truly be putting every ounce of energy he has into his performance. Effin' loved them.

Overall, it was a pretty bad ass night. Again, a huge thanks to all of you who showed up at Slabtown to support my staff for May Day, and a huge thanks to the bands for playing and bringing people in the door.

We'll have to do this shit again for Labor Day...

Event Horizon, 5/1: May Day at Slabtown

I'm gonna try to be serious for a minute.

I have some very strong political and ethical beliefs. I run a business. I grew up in the 80s where the concept of combining those two was foreign, a time when having standards and morals and values was seen as a liability. In the years since, I've had a chance to meet a metric shitton of people who run businesses in accordance with their beliefs, who take the idea that you don't have to fuck people over to survive and use it as the foundation for earning a decent living. I'm doing my best to take that to heart at Slabtown with the ways I treat the staff, the bands who play here, the people who keep our doors open by taking a seat at the bar.

One of my core beliefs is one that I picked up from the movie It's a Wonderful Life. There's a scene where the evil Mr Potter is about to take over the Savings and Loan which will allow him to basically own everything in Bedford Falls; if you aren't paying him rent, you'll be paying him a mortgage. Jimmy Stewart loses his shit and goes on this rant where he talks about how the people Potter wants to own do "90% of the working, living, and dying in this town." As a business owner, I think about that line often, especially with how it applies to the staff here.

I may spend a lot of time in my office setting up shows, paying bills, and making decisions that will effect the business as a whole, but the staff are really 90% of what makes or breaks Slabtown. They're the ones who'll make you feel welcome or make you feel like an idiot for not knowing that martinis get served in buckets here. They're the ones that will give you one of the best sammiches you've had in ages (Seriously, try the grilled pastrami and eggplant on rye.) or serve you up something barely edible. They wield insane amounts of power over how the bar smells on any given day. Think on that one.

So, next Tuesday, I'm gonna do what I can to give them a little extra, and net bar sales from open to close will go to the staff. I'm not trying to be dodgy here--note the use of the word "net." That means what they sell (ie., the booze) will still get paid for out of the till, but the day's profits will go to them. We'll do it again for Labor Day.

Jamie set up a show for that night with HABITS, TSEPESCH, and BOORS. Three metal bands for $3. It's a Tuesday, so SIN specials will start at 8, and we'll have our regular Happy Times specials from 2-7. I'd really like this to be big for them, so come on in and have a drink or two. Bring a friend. Tip yr bartender.

And, if you own a business, I hope you'll take my cue (the same I way I took the cue from the Lusty Lady Clubs in SF and Seattle from whom I stole this idea) and do something for yr staff next Tuesday.

World Famous Urinals

Just days after the Willy Week heaped praise on Slabtown for the welcoming aroma of our urinals in its Drink Guide 2012, photographer Kelli Mellilo came in to take pics of our soon-to-be-world-famous mens room urinal trough for an upcoming coffee table book on bars and their piss receptacles. The book, tentatively titled "Portland's Funk and Fabulous Bathrooms," will feature photos and writing about over 50 of PDX's crappers and piss tanks.

You can bet yr ass we'll be holding a book release extravaganza and open viewing of the fabled trough when it hits the shelves, so stay tuned.

Follow Kelly on twitter at @PDXbathrooms
Dig her "Girl on the Go" blog
The WW review of Slabtown in its Drink Guide

What You Missed, 4/12/12: NEKKED BONZ

Guy walks into a bar and starts hassling the new owner about getting a show for his urban crunch (Is that a musical style?) band. New owner has had too much energy drink and a shouting match ensues.

"I'm telling you, man, we gonna pack the place. Make you a lot of money."

"Look, when I have a SHOW, I gotta pay the SOUND guy, DOOR GUY, bring in extra STAFF!!! OVERHEAD!!!"

"Gimme a date. We'll do three sets, even bring in our own PA so you don't need yr sound guy."

Sold. "Allright. YOU WANNA SHOW!?! I'll GIVE you a SHOW!!! BUT this is what you're GONNA DO!!! You're GONNA bring yr OWN PA, AND!!! You're gonna play THREE 45-minute sets, RIGHT!?! And, some GAP BAND!!! YOU'RE GONNA PLAY SOME GAP BAND!!!"

The "bring yr own PA" idea is almost as stupid as some of the writers for the Willy Week's drink guide, so I eventually tell him to nix that idea. But Nekked Bonz does things right, so they still bring in their own lighting and stage set up.

Yep, 11 pm the night before the show, Da'Mone from NEKKED BONZ shows up with a full effin' truck load of equipment. Drum riser, stage riser, lighting trees, stage curtains. Spends over two hours giving the Slabtown stage a full make over. You wouldn't have recognized her. Seriously, it's like that scene from Breakfast Club where Molly Ringwald puts make up and clean clothes on Ally Sheedy and that Jock Emilio Estevez gets an immediate erection. (Of course, every punk boy I ever knew thought she was way hoxxxtter when she was dressed up in sackcloth and ashes and dusting her drawings with dandruff snowstorms. Our Slabtown stage doesn't need less eyeliner or to wear its hair out of its eyes.) When Chris the sound guy saw the whole get up, he was worried Slabtown wouldn't have enough power for all those lights.


This ain't a picture of them at Slabtown, but I swear on the Holy Diver, our stage was more fandangoed than this:

NEKKED BONZ didn't bring out a lot of people last night, but they still brought an awesome show. Da'Mone comes across like LENNY KRAVITZ with a haircut and some WILSON PICKETT thrown in. He's doing spins and dance moves, got his shirt buttoned down to the navel (or, as we at Slabtown like to call it, "the Trail of Tears"). Between songs, he keeps asking us if we like chicken. I effin' love chicken, almost as much as I love tater tots, but when I yell that out, the rest of the audience started laughing. I think I might've missed the joke somewhere...

So, yeah, while you were home watching reruns of "Firefly" you downloaded illegally, NEKKED BONZ was bringing us three sets of urban crunch and covers (including the GAP BAND as instructed). But, hey, you'll get another chance to catch them on Thursday, 5/24.

Event Horizon, 4/15: Joey Ramone Day

While all the normies in the world will be fretting over taxes, we're gonna be remembering Joey Ramone down at Slabtown with pizza, live music from Wormbag, Bloodtypes, and Jabronis, and Rock n Roll High School showing in the back after the show. Dress up as Riff Randell, Tom Roberts, Eaglebauer, or Kate Rambeau and you can win free shit.


Joey Ramone Day is something Erin Whupass got me celebrating every year, and if you aren't coming down for the show, there's a metric shitton of other things you can do:


Hitch a ride to Rockaway Beach.
Hang out on 2nd Avenue.
Lie awake at night.
Think of you and me.
Eat vindaloo.
Remember rocknroll radio.
Have something to do.
Hang out.
Look at her close.
Be against it.
Watch Get Smart on TV.
Don't go.
Don't be learned.
Don't go down in the basement.
Don't be tamed.
Chase the night.
Sniff some glue.
Have a real cool time.
Hang out in LA with nowhere to go.
Howl at the moon.
Cuss & fight.
Steal a car for a joyride.
Want the airwaves.
Be well.

The World Outside: Conspiracy of Shortmen

One of our favorite local blogs with a piece about forgiving ourselves.

http://conspiracyofshortmen.tumblr.com/post/20641336691

The World Outside, 4/6/12

If you aren't at Slabtown on Friday night to see Hopeless Jack and the Handsome Devil, Antique Scream, and Holy Children, you better be here:


https://www.facebook.com/events/354768994563023/

Slabtown loves all of the members of the NEEDFUL LONGINGS (They were on the bill of our second show since reopening.), and hope this is a successful event for both Sean and the Jeremy Wilson Foundation.




From their press release:


Friday April 6th, Portland, Or - The Jeremy Wilson Foundation (JWF) proudly presents a night of high energy rock’n’roll featuring a cast of Portland native sons including Dharma Bums, The Needful Longings, Ugly Flowers and DJ HWY 7. The concert’s proceeds will help relieve longtime Portland musician Sean Croghan (Crackerbash, Jr. High, The Needful Longings) of expensive medical bills he accumulated from an emergency hospital stay late last year, and The JWF Musician’s Healthcare Fund, which assists musicians in times of medical crisis. 

It promises to be a special night of music uniting old (and new) friends together, not only for a worthy cause, but also as a true testament of what the spirit of the Portland music and arts culture is all about. The relationship that has manifested over the years between the collective members of Dharma Bums and The Needful Longings can easily be described as a close-knit “family.”

Inducted into the Oregon Music Hall of Fame last November, the members of Dharma Bums grew up together in the Willamette Valley playing in bands since their very early teens. They found regional fame around the valley, partially because they could play hundreds of songs at concert level from such young ages. In 1986, when the Dharma Bums moved to Portland from the Silverton area, they played many of their earliest Portland gigs with Sean Croghan’s first band Crackerbash. It was during this exciting time that both bands honed their sonic crafts and garnered stellar reputations as ferocious live and touring acts. For several years together, before most of the members were even of legal age, the Bums and Crackerbash played area clubs such as The Pine Street Theater, The Long Goodbye, Blue Gallery, and the legendary Satyricon. Croghan and Dharma Bums bassist, Jim Talstra, originally conceived of a Wipers Tribute “flip 45” single to be released as a dual effort between both Crackerbash and the Bums. This project quickly blossomed into a compilation vinyl 45 box set tribute to Greg Sage & The Wipers, including tracks from Poison Idea, Hole, and Nirvana. The release of this box set and the expanded CD that followed helped put then powerhouse indie Portland label T/K Records on the map; a label that launched the biggest Portland acts of the 90s. 

In all aspects of life, these guys have been brothers for one another onstage and off as they came of age. From helping each other move apartments to painting and creating art on front porches to playing on each other’s records over the years, these guys became lifelong buddies and collaborators. Heck, Sean Croghan even appeared as “The Face”, on the front cover of the Dharma Bums third album, Welcome, back in 1993. Twenty years later the members of these bands still play with the same vitality and emotion that sparked their mutual admiration back in the day. From the 2010 triumphant reunion shows of the Dharma Bums’ foursome to Sean’s latest and greatest group, The Needful Longings, these dedicated musicians are making the best music of their careers as they continue to collaborate on each other’s projects and adventures. For instance, Dharma Bums’ bassist Jim Talstra plays for The Needful Longings, whose guitar player, Chris Slusarenko, also plays in Boston Spaceships with Bum’s drummer, John Moen (now in the grammy nominated Decemberists) and singer Robert Pollard (Guided by Voices). Guitarist, Eric Lovre of the Bums produced records for both John Moen as well as Talstra’s bands, Perhapst and Minus 5. Lovre, Moen, and Talstra all appear on Dharma Bum’s frontman, Jeremy Wilson’s upcoming solo album, Empty Through Empty Space---and the list goes on. As this close-knit circle has done in the past, they will reunite once again to raise revenue for The Jeremy Wilson Foundation to assist their fellow musicians in times of emergency. 

It is no question that the “family” would come together now when Sean Croghan needs some assistance. A stint in the emergency room last September was no small setback for the hard working Sean when he passed a kidney stone and found himself uninsured due to a recent job change. But Croghan’s situation is, unfortunately, not unique. Like millions of people throughout the United States, even some of the biggest names in music are hit hard by medical emergency, which can quickly turn into financial disaster. Jeremy Wilson’s struggle from his own stressful medical condition prompted him to form The JWF Musician’s Healthcare Fund to benefit the well-being of the entire Northwest music community. The Jeremy Wilson Foundation is a 501(c)3 Nonprofit that recognizes that many musicians do not have individual access to healthcare and functions as a resource center whose revenue funds musicians like Sean Croghan in their time of medical crisis. Those who wish to contribute to JWF Musician’s Healthcare Fund and support the well-being of area musicians are encouraged to donate online at www.thejwf.org. Donors can also contribute directly to Sean Croghan’s Relief Fund at http://thejwf.org/donateDonations are 100% tax deductible. 

The Jeremy Wilson Foundation Presents – Friday April 6th 2012 - Dharma Bums, The Needful Longings, Ugly Flowers, DJ HWY7 @ Dantes - 350 West Burnside St. Portland, OR 97209 (503) 226-6630 $10.00 in advance http://www.cascadetickets.com/$13.00 day of show Doors 8 pm Show 9 pm

MORE ABOUT THE JEREMY WILSON FOUNDATION
There is an absence of relief organizations which assist uninsured and under-insured musicians who, as members of the creative class, are at high risk of serious financial harm in times of medical crisis.

The mission of The Jeremy Wilson Foundation (JWF) is to support uninsured and underinsured musicians and their families in times of medical crisis. Sixteen months since its inception, The JWF has generated $52.000.00, and granted $20,000 in assistance in 2011 alone. The JWF has started JWF Studio and Learning Center’s program, Blue Room Music Lessons, which provides secure jobs for music educators while granting access to affordable, discounted or free music lessons to children of low-income families. In its ninth month of operation, Blue Room’s educators have taught over 90 students. The JWF’s November 2011 fundraising concert, The Next Waltz, rallied over 60 area musicians and 20 volunteers for a sold out recreation of The Band’s The Last Waltz, held at the Alberta Rose Theater in Portland, Oregon. The JWF’s survey results have provided valuable insight for the Local 99 Musician's Union, the Health Association of Austin Musicians (HAMM), and at hearings regarding the cost of insurance for small business owners in the Oregon State Senate.

Musicians are twice as likely as the general public to be uninsured. They are considered self-employed and do not receive employee benefits from the record companies they serve. The artists individually absorb 100% of the costs (from paying the doorman to releasing the album), while the record companies receive up to 90% of revenues. Although demand for music is increasing, the advent of the 360° record deal has drastically decreased the artist’s profits through the label’s appropriation of each and every revenue stream. Due to a lack of fundamental financial security, stability, and business structure, many artists simply cannot afford basic health insurance.

The JWF, in its second year, is trying to build and expand its non-profit 501 (c)3 organization dedicated to assisting uninsured and under-insured musicians and their families. It is developing multiple streams of revenue to subsidize a musician’s medical crisis fund. JWF is developing programs to provide incentives and financial fitness education specific to this unique industry to help individuals proactively establish and maintain adequate health care coverage. By developing and implementing a new music licensing model the JWF empowers the artist’s own enterprise and contributes to the well-being of other musicians. They are trying to provide an essential safety-net and proactive training to vital members of the creative economy, and by doing so hope to enrich and sustain our community’s cultural identity.

The Foundation’s namesake, musician Jeremy Wilson (The Dharma Bums, Pilot) formed the foundation because of his personal experiences since being diagnosed with a serious congenital heart condition called Wolf-Parkinson-White. He has learned, by what Wilson calls “his education by fire,” all about the need for adequate health care for our community of musicians. And because of the great outpouring of goodwill he experienced from those that have helped him through his own trial these last many years, he wants to pay forward the same goodwill to others.

With the help of an incredible cast of friends, well-wishers, music fans, industry professionals and others, Wilson has formed this Foundation. Let’s raise the quality of life for all by helping those that make the sound tracks of our lives be healthy and happy.