It's here...The Falafel House at Slabtown

Yeah, it's been a long while since I've had time to sit down and write about what's going on around here, mainly because there's been so much going on. The biggest of the big things going on is the opening of what is essentially a whole new restaurant on-site here at Slabtown. Known simply as "The Falafel House at Slabtown," it's the new endeavor of former Grilled By Death owner and local punk drummer Mike Warm. I say, "new restaurant" because it is an entirely separate business that just happens to share the same space as us. And, goddamn, now that it's here, I just about piss myself with joy every time I walk into the building and see Mikey cooking things up in the kitchen.

Because it's a match made in heaven. Mikey wanted to open a restaurant, and I just want to run a bar without having to deal with all those pesky little OLCC regulations around providing "substantial food items" and such. I'm an alcoholic not a dietician. And, I hate cooking. Shit, I don't even like eating and wish I could get all my nutrition from a single daily IV or such. Yes, I would truly prefer a daily needle in the arm and fifteen minutes hooked to a tube to having to assemble a sandwich. Eating is almost as much of a waste of time as sleeping. Seriously.

Mikey, on the other hand, is so obsessed with food that he's making everything from scratch. Well, almost everything. Pitas, fresh-baked from scratch. Lentil soup, hummus, and falafels, also from scratch. French fries, hand cut, blanched, and then fried. He makes the fucking seitan for the vegan gyros from fucking scratch! He pickles his own fucking radishes! Tahini... Ha! At least THAT he buys pre-made. And, he's keeping the tater tots, which come to us frozen. (But, I do think Mikey dies a little inside every time he has to touch them...)

For now, from 2pm when we open until 5pm when Falafel House staff arrives in full, they have the following menu available:

Fattoush Salad (crunchy pita chips tossed with a mix of greens and veggies)
Fattoush Sandwich (the same served in a pita)
House Salad (mixed greens and veggies)
Lentil Soup (served with a lemon wedge and pita chips)
Hummus and Pita (lemony chickpea spread with pita wedges)
Hand-Cut Fries or Tots (both available with fresh garlic)

From 5pm until at least 11pm (later on show nights), you can get any of the above, or the following:
Falafel Sandwich (chickpea fritters dressed up with slaw, pickles, pickled turnips, and tahini in a pita)
Vegan Gyro (grilled seitan strips with slaw, pickles, pickled turnips, and vegan tzatziki in a pita)
Vegan Gyro Fries (loaded with grilled seitan strips and smothered in vegan tzatziki)

Salads range from $4 to $6, and the sandwiches a la carte are only $5 or $7. Seriously, some of the best falafel and vegan gyros you can get in Portland, with almost everything made from scratch, for about the same price you'd pay for a sandwich at Subway. Ridiculous.

And, it's all vegan.

Our shared hope is that he'll soon be offering the full menu all open hours, and we're in the midst of getting approval for outdoor seating, as well. So, keep and ear to the ground, and we'll let you know as more changes come.

The Falafel House at Slabtown on Facebook here.

Event Horizon, 6/22: EVER SO ANDROID, SUPER CARDIGAN BROS., DER SPAZM, NEW LUNGS

I've been looking forward to this show from literally the moment Drew and Hope from EVER SO ANDROID first contacted me a couple months ago. I started checking out videos of them (links below), and I'm just flat out mesmerized by what they do. Hope's voice effin' slays me, and Drew's work on the guitar is way beyond bitchen. Looping, droning, captivating.

Opening the show will be DER SPAZM out of Sacramento, CA. Playing somewhat experimental, post-punk music that's been compared to everything from the PIXIES and SONIC YOUTH to JELLO BIAFRA and ELVIS, DER SPAZM are what I want out of a band that reminds us that the word "indie" is not always synonymous with "hipster," that it comes from the we-do-it-our-way mentality that makes bands hip in the first place. I have yet to see even video of DER SPAZM live, but the word from Sactown is that they're damned good.

Next up is Seattle's NEW LUNGS, a band I booked when they cold-called me the other day after their show at Laughing Horse Books fell through. The fact that they had a show lined up at an anarchist book store/all ages show space was enough for me to confirm without ever having heard them, but I was stoked to hear how well they fit the bill when I started researching them online. At times crashing and explosive but tempered with enough melody to keep me interested, they remind me of our own DIVERS at times, and that's not a comparison I'd throw around lightly.

Headlining the bill will be the previously mentioned EVER SO ANDROID, also from Seattle. Ima let their music speak for itself...

Closing the night will be DJ/VJ duo SUPER CARDIGAN BROTHERS. They were here at Slabtown last week for a weeknight show and brought in about 30 people or so to trip out on the videos and the records they were spinning. Artists like SCB are the reason I own house turntables; sometimes having a pair of really talented DJ/VJs is exactly what you need to follow a band like EVER SO ANDROID.

Doors at 9, but show up early for "Sound Check Specials" on drinks up until the time DER SPAZM takes the stage. We'll also have a signature drink special on the "Ever So Android." What goes into that, you'll just have to wait and see, though...

$5, 21+

Linksies...
EVER SO ANDROID on Reverbnation here.
...and on youtube here and here.
NEW LUNGS bandcamp here.
DER SPAZM's FB page here.

The Falafel House at Slabtown, coming in June...

We haven't set a specific date for the changeover (a lot depends upon how long OLCC approval takes), but sometime in the month of June, we'll be opening an entire new restaurant with an entire new menu here at Slabtown. Mike Warm, also known as Mikey Minds the drummer for DEFECT DEFECT, THE MINDS, THE OBSERVERS, and a host of other bands, will be opening "The Falafel House at Slabtown" with an emphasis on Mediterranean foods. A lot of you won't just recognize Mikey from his place on stage but will also recognize him as the face behind the counter at "Grilled By Death," a small sandwich grill he operated at the all-ages club Blackwater Records when they were located on 19th and Morrison.

The full menu is still being developed, but Mikey's specialty will be falafel sandwiches and similar fare--simple, high-quality food with a heavy emphasis on vegan and vegetarian options. Almost all of his foods--from the gyros to the hummus to the soups and salads--will be made from scratch, and while he will be keeping some bar standards such as fries and tots, even the fries will be of a different caliber; Mikey will be making Belgian-sylte fries which are essentially twice-fried--blanched first and then deep-fried.

Aside from the menu, opening The Falafel House at Slabtown will also mean a host of other changes. Right now, you can order sandwiches, etc. on show nights, but we don't have the staffing to be able to run a full grill all night. With Mikey coming in, we'll be able to start serving full meals almost until close. Although we can't set a timeline yet, also be on the lookout for expanded hours over the next couple months as Mikey looks to feed the lunch crowd. And, keep yr eyes open for announcements about curbside service for cabbies and the rest of you who are looking to pick something up on yr way home from work.

Starting in the next week or two, we'll be testing out the menu with customers at the bar, so stop by and you might be able to score some free samples in exchange for yr opinion...

Event Horizon, 6/5: ELECTRO-KRAKEN, DIRTY HAND FAMILY BAND, ROSELIT BONE, "WE JAM ECONO"

Wow, it's been a long time since I've sat down to write about what's going on here. Been more than a little busy, but I'm feeling inspired...

The next big show that everyone's talking about here at Slabtown is THRONES/LEBENDEN TOTEN/ROSENKOPF/BELLICOSE MINDS on the 11th, but in all honesty, I'm equally excited about tomorrow night's show with ELECTRO-KRAKEN (my third chance to bring them in here since re-opening 3 months ago), DIRTY HAND FAMILY BAND, ROSELIT BONE, and the MINUTEMEN documentary "We Jam Econo."

We're gonna start off the night by putting "We Jam Econo" on in the back room about 7 or so. It's a weeknight show, and we'll be taking cash at the door at 8 and starting bands around 9. So, if you wanna just show up for the movie (and the "Sound Check Specials" on drinks until the opening band starts), it's free; stick around for the show and we'll hit you up for the $4.

First up will be locals ROSELIT BONE, a band I've been itching to see since Sean from E-K booked them for this show last month or so. Their bandcamp tags: country, apocalyptic, folk, deathrock, western. That pretty well sums it up. Dark, moody vocals over sparse music with a country Western vibe. Had the movie "Blue Velvet" been about a two-piece C-W band instead of a lounge singer, ROSELIT BONE would be that band.

THE DIRTY HAND FAMILY BAND are a seven- or eight-piece band vaguely out of San Francisco, although they seem to spend much of their time traveling from place to place. With vocals coming from two ladies up front as well as their guitarists and harmonica player, they take traditional American gospel, honky tonk, roots, and country and muddy it up with swamp water and moonshine. Similar to CAVE SINGERS in some ways and SOUL SAVERS in others, they're more than either or both.

Closing the night, at least the part on stage, will be ELECTRO-KRAKEN, a band that continues to be one of my favorite locals. If you haven't heard them, they are basically improv jazz, but they stretch that genre beyond recognition by running they sax through layers of effects and bringing the serious thunder with heavy, heavy bass and drums to back it up. In fact, they are more of a punk band that plays heavy improv jazz than vice-versa.

As I sit here and write about these three bands, the thing I love about them all is that they each take traditional American genres of music, expand on them, and drag them through the dark places of our minds. Their approaches remind me of the way that great post-punk bands like BUZZCOCKS and JOY DIVISION took the pop love song and twisted it sideways; their willingness to experiment with genre reminds me of THE MINUTEMEN and the way they made rock music their own (hence, the tie-in to the movie).

The liquor reps who do the promo for Kraken rum went grape-nuts when they heard I'd specifically started carrying Kraken rum for this show and gave us a bunch of swag. We'll be running a couple of one-night-only drink specials around that: The Electro-Kraken (Kraken and energy drink) and The Russian Kraken Hunter (Kraken and half-and-half, tastes like a White Russian).

See you at 7 for the movie. Doors at 8, bands at 9. $4, 21+

Links:
ROSELIT BONE on bandcamp: here
DIRTY HAND FAMILY BAND at the Stork CLub in Oakland: here
ELECTRO-KRAKEN at The Someday Lounge: here

What You Missed, 5/1/12: Raising a Glass for the Working Class, HABITS, TSEPESCH, BOORS

Yesterday, while you were busy watching other people protest for their economic rights on CNN, Slabtown was celebrating May Day in its own not-so-quiet way with  a thrash-doom-hardcore show here with net sales going to staff. (I've written about the whole net-to-staff thing before, here, so I'll just give you the spoiler and say that, although it wasn't a banner day financially, staff still walked away with over $500 in bonuses. Thank you to everyone who came in.) If you did make it in, you didn't get to see me scrubbing the floors in a Mr Pennybags costume, but you did get to see me in one of my less-than-stellar moments...

THE BOORS were up first. Absolute thrash, spastic, as anarchic as a band should be on May Day. Their singer was throwing his body around stage, biting through cans, tying the mic cable around his neck. All good fun. But about four songs in, he broke one of our mic stands and immediately followed the move by completing a flip onstage that landed him on top of the mic stand for the kick drum, snapping the top off. I got pissed. All I could think about was that these guys weren't going to pay for that shit, and I was gonna get screwed and have to cough up cash to the guy we rent our sound system from.

Let me point out my own stupidity. God, where do I start...

Number one, money is a stupid reason to get angry. Period.

Number two, anyone who ever saw me perform with LEGACY OF BRUTALITY knows I have lost any right to bitch about someone breaking a mic stand or two. I'm not sure we ever played a show that didn't include tearing clothing, setting things on fire, knocking over equipment, breaking mics, snapping stands, kicking monitors into the crowd, or at the very least making someone bleed. Hypocrisy.

Number two-point-five, I love a band that gets so into their music that they lose their shit. What? Then I'm going to whine at them for "going too far?"

Number three, the most important one. I totally came at THE BOORS as if they were trying to get off without paying for it. From the moment I approached them after their set, they were willing to do what they could to make it right, but in my anger, nothing was good enough.

Anyway, I finally grabbed a friend of mine and asked him to talk to the band about getting the stands fixed. I realized that I was worked up over stupid shit and figured I'd just keep coming across like an asshole if I kept talking. Like I said, they were totally willing to take care of it. Let me make this apology public. Sorry for being an uptight, angry jerk last night. Thank you for putting yr all into yr set, even though you were playing to a crowd of about forty instead of a packed house.

I was still coming down from my tantrum when TSEPESCH took the stage. I'm not sure most people would call their doom sludge relaxing, per se, but it did the trick for me. If you haven't seen TSEPESCH yet, go check them out, if just for their stage show--a giant of a man on bass dressed as Jesus risen from the tomb, the rest of the band dressed in under-stated black, bottles of Sutter's Home red poured into what appeared to be a bull's horn and passed among the band and then the audience. I have know idea what the word tsepesch means, but I have the feeling I took part in some dark ritual with them last night, even though I didn't touch the wine.

As almost always happens for me with headlining bands at Slabtown, I missed the opening segment of THE HABITS' set because I was closing out the door till, but what I was able to catch was pretty effin' bad ass. I'd never seen them before and was expecting something slower and heavier than the driving, crushing hardcore they put out. Their singer, Joe, is another amazing front man, a guy who seems to truly be putting every ounce of energy he has into his performance. Effin' loved them.

Overall, it was a pretty bad ass night. Again, a huge thanks to all of you who showed up at Slabtown to support my staff for May Day, and a huge thanks to the bands for playing and bringing people in the door.

We'll have to do this shit again for Labor Day...

Event Horizon, 5/1: May Day at Slabtown

I'm gonna try to be serious for a minute.

I have some very strong political and ethical beliefs. I run a business. I grew up in the 80s where the concept of combining those two was foreign, a time when having standards and morals and values was seen as a liability. In the years since, I've had a chance to meet a metric shitton of people who run businesses in accordance with their beliefs, who take the idea that you don't have to fuck people over to survive and use it as the foundation for earning a decent living. I'm doing my best to take that to heart at Slabtown with the ways I treat the staff, the bands who play here, the people who keep our doors open by taking a seat at the bar.

One of my core beliefs is one that I picked up from the movie It's a Wonderful Life. There's a scene where the evil Mr Potter is about to take over the Savings and Loan which will allow him to basically own everything in Bedford Falls; if you aren't paying him rent, you'll be paying him a mortgage. Jimmy Stewart loses his shit and goes on this rant where he talks about how the people Potter wants to own do "90% of the working, living, and dying in this town." As a business owner, I think about that line often, especially with how it applies to the staff here.

I may spend a lot of time in my office setting up shows, paying bills, and making decisions that will effect the business as a whole, but the staff are really 90% of what makes or breaks Slabtown. They're the ones who'll make you feel welcome or make you feel like an idiot for not knowing that martinis get served in buckets here. They're the ones that will give you one of the best sammiches you've had in ages (Seriously, try the grilled pastrami and eggplant on rye.) or serve you up something barely edible. They wield insane amounts of power over how the bar smells on any given day. Think on that one.

So, next Tuesday, I'm gonna do what I can to give them a little extra, and net bar sales from open to close will go to the staff. I'm not trying to be dodgy here--note the use of the word "net." That means what they sell (ie., the booze) will still get paid for out of the till, but the day's profits will go to them. We'll do it again for Labor Day.

Jamie set up a show for that night with HABITS, TSEPESCH, and BOORS. Three metal bands for $3. It's a Tuesday, so SIN specials will start at 8, and we'll have our regular Happy Times specials from 2-7. I'd really like this to be big for them, so come on in and have a drink or two. Bring a friend. Tip yr bartender.

And, if you own a business, I hope you'll take my cue (the same I way I took the cue from the Lusty Lady Clubs in SF and Seattle from whom I stole this idea) and do something for yr staff next Tuesday.

World Famous Urinals

Just days after the Willy Week heaped praise on Slabtown for the welcoming aroma of our urinals in its Drink Guide 2012, photographer Kelli Mellilo came in to take pics of our soon-to-be-world-famous mens room urinal trough for an upcoming coffee table book on bars and their piss receptacles. The book, tentatively titled "Portland's Funk and Fabulous Bathrooms," will feature photos and writing about over 50 of PDX's crappers and piss tanks.

You can bet yr ass we'll be holding a book release extravaganza and open viewing of the fabled trough when it hits the shelves, so stay tuned.

Follow Kelly on twitter at @PDXbathrooms
Dig her "Girl on the Go" blog
The WW review of Slabtown in its Drink Guide